Aa sponsor boundaries. Familiarize yourself with the AA Sponsorship Pamphlet.
Aa sponsor boundaries. Ensure that they are currently working the full program and that they have a sponsor too. Upon early recovery, it’s suggested to attend meetings daily. General Service Conference-approved. Be sure that you are active with your own sponsor and continuously working the Steps with him or her so you can grow as best as you can as well. A. The question of whether a sponsor in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) can be of the opposite sex is a topic of consideration within the community. A sponsor works like a guide to the culture and can help to explain and decode what the system is about and how it works. Office and we will try to help them find a sponsor. My last relapse was a very hopeless and desperate time in my life. As AA says, there are no specific rules for the length of time a person should be sober before becoming a sponsor. A good sponsor recognizes this, and helps to create a space where both can grow without unnecessary concerns. Do Set Boundaries. This prevents burnout and ensures respect from the involved parties. Long story short, I didn’t take the time to set boundaries or expectations with them at the beginning. The more honest a person gets when they are doing the work Boundaries. These boundaries may encompass various aspects of the client’s life, such as accompanying them to social events, helping them deal with challenging situations, and assisting them in developing coping In order to do so, individuals work an AA “program”, outlined in their main text “The Big Book,” by going to meetings, working through the 12-steps under the guidance of a sponsor (i. In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the selection of a sponsor is a critical step for a new Oct 17, 2024 · Another important aspect of how to be an AA sponsor is setting boundaries. Essentially, boundaries help us maintain relationships and avoid situations that could make us feel like we have been taken advantage of. Please note the following: 1) This subreddit is neither endorsed nor approved by AA World Services. May 14, 2021 · The sponsor may well consider getting rid of the sponsee who fails to comply with any of these simple requirements or boundaries. I am not a medical professional and I am not equip to deal with that. it/1cbzl79 - for a brief description of Alcoholics Anonymous and this subreddit. Bob’s willingness. The Selection Process for a Sponsor in AA. If they take exception to boundaries needed to protect your well-being, find another sponsor. It is important that you and your sponsee have a discussion about what is acceptable and what isn’t. As sponsors, we participate in the intimate, challenging, often daily work of encouraging those in our care to live drug-free. Nov 15, 2023 · 2. Jul 17, 2023 · A beneficial AA sponsor relationship thrives on open communication, trust and confidentiality, commitment, empathy, and respectful boundaries. While finding meetings that […] But, I have had multiple AA sponsors and I sponsor guys myself in AA. Feb 18, 2021 · The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop using. Just as each person in recovery has both unique and common struggles, sponsors come with equally unique and common character and approaches. Boundaries help sponsors maintain objectivity, professionalism, and emotional balance while providing guidance and support to sponsees. It is a source of support provided by a group member who is in a more advanced stage of recovery to a person at an earlier stage of recovery. As a sponsor, a person has several responsibilities associated with his Dec 14, 2023 · Boundaries make sure that the focus is on getting better and taking care of mental health. A Sponsor isn't some AA guru your husband has to placate. It typically provides a structured framework for both sponsors and sponsees to navigate the recovery process. Aug 7, 2011 · Hummm - interesting. An AA sponsor is an addiction survivor who has made progress in their own path to recovery and has been sober for at least a year. 2 Jan 21, 2021 · Connecting with a sponsor is often seen as the prime way to really tap into the power of the 12 steps. Working the steps of AA has its ups and downs but the benefits are life-changing. I will address different aspects of sponsorship in AA that may be of particular interest to newcomers. He is not there to diagnose you, help you with legal issues, or give you financial support. You should also feel free to discuss questions and concerns about choosing a sponsor, setting boundaries, or deciding to change sponsors with senior members of your home AA group, your mental health care team, or a local AA hotline. I will offer blogs discussing what kind of awareness may facilitate an informed choice. I wanted to know if taking someone through the steps on Skype is feasible. If a sponsor wants to interfere with your ability to thrive in sobriety, run the other way It wasn't till I came to AA that I learned that boundaries are really agreements I make with myself. , mentor), helping other alcoholics (e. Anyone who Sep 17, 2024 · How to Find a Sponsor. By setting healthy boundaries, sponsors can support their sponsee effectively while taking care of themselves too. Even though I experienced it myself. What to look for in a sponsor, and what you need to be effective as a sponsor yourself. They share their recovery experiences, help navigate the 12-Step program, and offer accountability and encouragement. Sponsorship responsibility is unwritten and informal, but it is a basic part of the A. Before starting work, sponsor and sponsee should meet (if possible) or speak so that the sponsor can explain the first sponsor I had verbally abused me second dud the same third ignored all my calls never heard from her then no women would sponsor me a man offered he sexually harassed me and told me I wasnt an alcoholic then my last woman sponsor kept asking for things to buy her stuff and pay for a holiday for her I left AA after 20yrs in and out being May 3, 2024 · Considerations for Choosing an Opposite-Sex Sponsor in AA. You come as you are and are accepted as such. They guide us through the highs and lows of working the steps. However, it’s a common misconception that all sponsor/sponsee relationships are the same. Oct 3, 2022 · What is an AA Sponsor? An AA sponsor is someone who provides emotional support and guidance to a recovering addict. Call Spero Recovery at (303) 351-7888 to get started on your sobriety journey today. Although AA sponsors often try to be there for their sponsees 24/7, this is not practical or healthy for the AA sponsor. I saw this list of boundaries sometime ago. If I had a sponsee tell me they were feeling suicidal, I would tell them to go to a psych ward asap. At first, online sponsorship felt strange and unfamiliar. The following programs use sponsors in a variety of ways: AA Sponsors Sep 15, 2024 · A sponsor does everything they can within their personal boundaries and knowledge to help a newcomer get sober and stay sober using the tools of AA. A sober companion typically works closely with clients and their family members to establish clear guidelines and boundaries. Sep 28, 2020 · Boundaries with hardcore AA sponsors. Dr. These guides direct you on how to be an AA sponsor, and outline Jul 6, 2024 · The sponsor-sponsee relationship embodies this active engagement, with the sponsor guiding the sponsee in applying the principles of AA to daily life. Check with your sponsor and with other people before taking on these suggestions. The AA Pamphlet mentioned above, offers this: “(Q) What does a sponsor do and not do? (A) A sponsor does everything possible, within the limits of personal experience and knowledge, to help the newcomer get sober and stay sober through the A. Jul 16, 2024 · These are some important boundaries to set to avoid the 13th step in AA: Always check if a suggestion made by another person is something that is in the literature. 3 Most Common Boundaries for Sponsors Aug 4, 2023 · Establishing Boundaries. Dec 5, 2022 · Sponsorship is a crucial feature of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). It’s very important that you and your sponsor set boundaries regarding these things and that you continuously According to AA literature, a sponsor is someone who has made progress in the recovery program and continuously shares that experience with another individual striving to achieve or maintain sobriety through AA. approach to recovery from alcoholism through the Twelve Steps. Step-by-Step Guide for Sponsors Contents Purpose and Use of This Guide 5 Before Getting Started on the Steps 11 Questions and Answers on Sponsorship: What does a sponsor do and not do? What does a sponsee do and not do? Preface and Forwards: Bill’s realization. If a burning desire to speak about a topic like "boundaries" or maybe "treatment" comes up I guess I can either share about whatever I want (off topic and on the 12 steps maybe) or listen or leave. g. Here is what the list means to me and my life: It’s not my job to fix others If our sponsor-sponsee relationship becomes uncomfortable and stuck, we might want to reflect on the question, “How can we move forward in this situation?” Sponsorship is a privilege. Common Sponsor Boundaries. In many successful groups, sponsorship is one of the most important planned activities of the members. The old one should not take it personally. Your sponsor should have completed AA’s 12 Steps of recovery and be living drug-free. Feb 3, 2017 · A great AA sponsor wears many hats. Nov 19, 2012 · After sponsoring dozens of men and women into contented sobriety a plan is laid out for more effective sponsorship. Boundaries vary from person to person and can differ between genders and cultures. program. AA online sponsorship. An AA sponsor is a more experienced member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) who provides guidance and support to a newcomer. Sponsorship is the way to a sober, fulfilling, and meaningful life. While it’s crucial to be available for your sponsee, it’s also essential to maintain your own self-care and recovery. Boundary Maintenance: Effective sponsors maintain appropriate boundaries, focusing on recovery support without complicating the relationship with other issues. The last time I tried to help someone through them was over several years ago prior to my whole world being shaken up. Benefits of Having an AA Sponsor. Role of Sponsors. A Sponsor is supposed to introduce and take a Sponsee through the steps based on his knowledge of them, and give suggestions on sobriety based on his experiences. Jun 15, 2021 · Many in recovery have certain assumptions about how the sponsor and sponsee negotiate the boundaries of their new partnership for 12-Step groups. Be clear on boundaries. Some sponsors will be more compassionate and opening while others are more formal and detached, but a sponsor should never act as a therapist. The potential AA sponsor must be: Jun 30, 2021 · Alcoholics Anonymous has numerous common quotes, sayings, acronyms and slogans that you might hear someone mention or you might hear in a meeting. service work, sponsorship), and practicing these principles in all aspects of daily life (Alcoholics Anonymous Hi all I got an AA sponsor like a week and a half ago and I’ve started to feel codependent upon her and I feel really guilty and anxious about how I’m feeling and the fact that I know I should/need to make boundaries with her and maybe decide to not have her as a sponsor anymore. Jul 3, 2024 · Commitment to AA Principles: A sponsor should be committed to the principles of AA and actively working the program, serving as a living example for the sponsee. Your sponsor is there to help you navigate the program, take you through the steps, and offer fellowship and support. If a sponsor can’t stay within its bounds, it’s probably your best bet to look elsewhere. . In order to find one, an AA member can simply approach someone and ask them to be their AA sponsor. We, in my Area, usually do a reading out of conference approved literature. Sponsors help you navigate membership, answer questions, work on the 12-steps, and offer accountability. However, one must make sure that the person they ask to be a sponsor must meet certain criteria. Sponsors vary in roles and definition depending on the program. It's the commitment I make to myself about what I will do if a particular situation happens again -- whether it's with the same person over and over, or the same situation but with different people. and this subreddit" thread - https://redd. The AA Question and Answer pamphlet on sponsorship suggests reading through the pamphlet with your sponsee at the start of your work together. Feb 3, 2022 · The healthy AA sponsor boundaries should never be crossed so that agreements can be kept and honored in an environment where experiences are shared, strength and hope are offered, and resources are shared between the sponsor and sponsee. Ten years of talk therapy whilst going to meetings failed to keep me sober. The few that fall into a similar category include Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Cocaine Anonymous (CA), Overeaters Anonymous (OA), Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Much of AA is self-explanatory, but there are some language barriers for new members. Your sponsor hits on you or flirts with you, or vice versa. Let people know they can call the A. May 8, 2013 · For the longest time, I have desired to sponsor someone again in AA using the 12 step recovery process. I knew I wouldn’t survive much longer if I didn’t do the one thing I had always feared, namely, get a sponsor and agree to take suggestions. The reasons why the rate of AA sponsorship remained high in this study are unclear, but may relate to study inclusion criteria. But be forewarned: there are some AA sponsors out there who simply aren’t up to the task. 1 For many, your individual boundaries can be vastly different from the boundaries of your family. To foster a strong bond during the recovery journey: Open Communication: Any topic can be discussed, ensuring no concerns remain hidden. 5. You should try to choose a sponsor who knows how to set boundaries. You have before you several things within your control: you can choose to tell him how you feel and ask him to better respect your privacy and/or set some boundaries with him; you can find another sponsor; you can find other meetings to attend (check out the Meeting Dec 13, 2021 · Some sponsors can handle sponsoring more than one person at a time, while others prefer to devote all of their attention to one sponsee. I’ve worked the steps, have a sponsor, go to meetings weekly, and regularly do other service in my local recovery community. Make sure you ask who in the Group is willing to sponsor to raise their hand. These etiquettes are mostly unspoken, but an experienced sponsor will go over them clearly and answer any questions you might have about them. e. Sponsorship can be a long- term relationship. Leads by example through sobriety and drinking history what AA can do for a person’s life. ” Boundary? The AA Program. As someone with twenty-five years in AA and several previous journeys through the steps, I had my first experience of online sponsorship. Sep 1, 2020 · Set up a Sponsorship Chairperson and have new members talk to that person after the meeting. From the Author Make no mistake, sponsorship is a scary proposition. Familiarize yourself with the AA Sponsorship Pamphlet. Learn about the role of sponsors in recovery and how to maintain positive, healthy boundaries. Unlike prior work that reported rapid decay in rates of AA sponsorship over a 12-month interval, we found that 41% of the sample reported having a sponsor at both the 3 and 9-month interviews. Remember that sometimes “pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress” (12&12 p. While this is a nice ideal in theory, in reality the relationship is inherently unequal in relation to newcomers who are often emotionally and psychologically vulnerable when they enter into a Every 12 step recovery program defines sponsorship and the role of sponsor differently. Make sure you ask for new people. Understanding Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) This is actually not that particular of a situation- not everyone connects with every sponsor they have and may need a new one. 3 This can help navigate clarity around the roles of sponsorship, circumvent overdependence on the sponsor, and lead to upfront discussion about what the sponsor and sponsee should do if there is relapse Apr 30, 2024 · Boundaries with your sobriety sponsor set you up for success. Oct 6, 2020 · He suggested Skype as the most user-friendly platform. By addressing these issues constructively, AA groups can foster a more positive atmosphere conducive to recovery and personal growth. Aug 23, 2024 · A sponsor is a senior member of AA or NA who has been in recovery for usually at least a year. If they do, they may not have been the best sponsor in the first place. For example, there should be no sexual or romantic attachment in a sponsor / sponsee relationship - if there is, it'sworth changing sponsors. Sep 14, 2020 · Healthy Sponsorship Boundaries in AA. 93) Ensure that your sponsor has a sponsor and is still in contact with him/her. But all meetings are autonomous. A sponsor is also a confidant who understand where you have been. Aug 17, 2024 · Members should trust their instincts, maintain healthy boundaries, and seek guidance from experienced sponsors or group leaders when encountering problematic individuals. After all, if the sponsor and the sponsee aren’t going to any meetings in common, the sponsee isn’t doing any “suggested” Stepwork, or the sponsee isn’t following any relapse prevention strategies, then the Jul 1, 2016 · The AA leaflet on sponsorship states that the sponsor-sponsee relationship is one of equals, and that the sponsor has no authority over the sponsee. Oct 27, 2020 · It can be very tempting to blame our sponsors when we are challenged with an issue that is difficult to face. 7. I made sure to schedule regular check-ins with my sponsee and encouraged them to call me whenever they needed, but I also set limits to ensure I wasn Sponsors offer us the opportunity to be accountable. I would find a new sponsor. • Pages 64 to 71 in the AA ‘Big Book’ (4th Edition) • Step 4 in the ‘Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions’ • Step 4 in the SLAA ‘Basic Text’ • SLAA HOW Guidance for Sponsees on Step 4 below in this document. Who and what I am responsible for, and equally importantly, who and what I am notresponsible for. Classic Sponsorship: When do I need a sponsor? • By the book (AA Sponsorship Pamphlet, p-15) • And/or “old” style sponsorship (sit down, shut up, listen, and on and on) • How can I tell if I’m ready to sponsor someone Setting Boundaries from The Start: Carry the message not the alcoholic I think healthy boundaries are always important, and sponsorship can provide great lessons in boundaries that can be applied to all relationships. You can ask them about the AA program and who their sponsor is and if their sponsor has a sponsor too, and how many sponsees they currently sponsor for their experience helping others and if they have too many, as they may not have much time for you. These all follow a 12-step program. Jul 31, 2015 · 6. Support can come from people other than a sponsor. AA sponsors offer experienced guidance to their sponsees as they go through the 12 steps. If there are romantic feelings from your sponsor toward you or you toward your sponsor, then the focus is not on you and your recovery. Responsibilities Of A Sponsor Of AA. Therefore, setting boundaries is critical to maintaining a healthy and balanced sponsor-sponsee relationship. However, in their pamphlet about sponsorship, AA does suggest that a sponsor should probably have at least a year of sobriety under their belt There are many different support groups in the game of addiction. Analyses have been performed on the benefits of having a sponsor in AA. While there are no explicit rules against opposite-sex sponsorship, caution is advised. This guy sounds manipulative and is taking advantage of your husband's vulnerability being new. You can confide in your sponsor what you may not be comfortable sharing at meetings. Have your own sponsor. Jul 1, 2024 · An AA sponsorship guide is a written resource used in Alcoholics Anonymous to facilitate the sponsor-sponsee relationship, which is a fundamental aspect of the AA program. AA members should be able to find their own AA sponsors. Last year, I was sponsoring someone and it didn’t end well. Unlike therapists who are qualified to make diagnoses and prescribe treatments, AA sponsors serve Jan 4, 2022 · Sponsors shouldn’t adhere to a few of the guidelines, while blatantly disregarding the rest of them. A relationship early in recovery and between a sponsor and sponsee is not recommended if you want to be successful in recovery. 2) Please do not provide or seek medical advice, as this is not the purpose of AA or this subreddit. Uses shared A. That’s what my sponsor told me to do when I was suicidal. Remember: The only purpose of a sponsor is to take you through the steps. Jul 15, 2024 · Reading Time: 4 minutes The Role of an AA Sponsor. Use this guide and see how well AA and it's principals work. Depending on your needs, your AA sponsor will be your confidante, guide, advisor, teacher, sounding board, comrade-in-arms or shoulder to cry on when times get tough. experience to answer 34 questions likely to be asked by persons seeking sponsors, persons wanting to be sponsors, and groups planning sponsorship activity. In my time in AA I have had to constantly reassess my boundaries and boundaries of others towards me. Set boundaries and keep them. Depending on where you are in the world and which specific meeting you go to, you may hear some of these AA mottos, slogans, sayings and acronyms more often than in others areas. Challenges of Sponsorship in AA Recovery While the sponsorship relationship in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a cornerstone of recovery for many, it can also present challenges that impact the In many successful groups, sponsorship is one of the most important planned activities of the members. Oct 14, 2022 · 4. Be 100% upfront with the new sponsor about the anxiety and personal space boundaries. Seeing your sponsor as a buddy in the early days is unhelpful. See the "About A. aqtkj norsfx cwmmk ubuper enrbo hvqenfr wrcm fjlp mdtjel fxa