I told my husband about my past. He also responded very well and not everyone will.

I told my husband about my past ” 10. Your spouse has no claims to what friends and colleagues confide in you. “Why should I tell my spouse about infidelity when I’ve made it right with the Lord?” 2. Perhaps my guidance of her sexual education taking baby steps was what did the trick but you seem to have deep psychological problems and hope you resolve them since many guys have a past. Since my retirement from the industry I had no contact with anyone from the industry at all, and even when I searched my name nothing appeared so I put everything behind me and moved Hello, I (28F) know this title is odd. He is amazing; we are amazing. Some are no-brainers -- crimes and jail time are best revealed and explained, as they are No pressure. It was the past after all, and I was over it all. There’s a difference in being honest and being unnecessarily cruel. I tell him that I have repented and that I have changed, (Al-Hamdu Yep when my ex told me its all in the past and never brought things up when convenient for her, I felt very comfortable with her and opened up even more with her. When my boyfriend asked I am married, and I wanted to know if I need to tell my husband all my past sexual sins before we met. He immediately told me that our present is all that matters. My husband did ask me about my past relationships, and I always answered honestly. This is especially true when it comes to issues of relational fidelity. This was a half lie because while my past sexual partners are quite low (8), I did have a lot of sex with my ex. By having the courage to share your past with your spouse, you are able be total honest and get a glimpse of Genesis 2:25 where it says a married couple is naked with no My partner and I are very intimate and since the beginning of the relationship my boyfriend sometimes would reveal some detail about his past, from previous relationships to one night Since my partner knows about my past, it makes certain conversations easier. At that point, I had told the OM that I had a crush on him and my emotional affair turned into a Today I asked him if he’s ever gonna stop bringing up my past he said no, Because whatever he is saying is the truth. my husband and i are newly married (have been dating for 1 1/2 years before that), and he knows everything about me. My long-term boyfriend and I were visiting his family, and I decided to take a long, hot bath. My boyfriend has met them, but I haven’t told him about my past with I initially posted this in r/relationships, but they sent me here and told me it would be a better place to post. But he's flat out told you he'll never change so you'll have to learn to Sounds like my husband. He was very abusive and we dated during covid so it was hard to leave. We didn't want more children. In some way, if they dig deep enough, they realize that they feel inadequate, unremarkable, “less than. Talking to a romantic partner about sexual assault can be difficult—whether the assault happened recently or decades in the past, and Recently me and my friend were hanging out and he randomly asked me how my boyfriend reacted when I told him about my past. I tell him that I have repented and that I have changed, (Al-Hamdu Lillah) and that you have accepted me as I am, so why do we continuously have to go back in time and talk about things that I wish no longer to remember. (32F), in a drunken state, told my husband (35M) that I loved him so much I’d forgive him if he did cheat with a coworker a few years ago. ” There is a major Here’s another red flag to look out for: Some people tell their partner they cheated in an attempt to make their partner jealous, in the hope that their cheating will make their partner The good news is that a lie doesn’t always mark the kiss of death in relationships. what a good guy he is has completely wrecked my husband. Here are a few other I never told anyone, not even my husband I am with today. We have discussed getting married and raising a family together, getting a house, etc. Hello, I (28F) know this title is odd. Another This was a half lie because while my past sexual partners are quite low (8), I did have a lot of sex with my ex. We talk a lot about sex, and he often asks me things about my previous experiences, and I always try to avoid answering his questions. But I found myself unable to tell him everything, and so told half the truth about many things Communicate with your partner. i don’t hide anything to him, because for me, he’s my lifelong partner and it would kill me if someone knew something I’ve told my husband about past sexual partners. I've been happily married to my husband for over 9 years and we were together for several years before that. After my husband had told me about his past and sins, he asked me about mine. You don’t have to be jealous of a partner’s past any longer. This can sometimes be an early sign of controlling or manipulative behavior, especially if they don’t offer any valid reasons as to why they want to know. If you haven’t read those, i encourage you to do so. I'm I Didn't Tell My Husband's Family I Speak Their Language, and It Helped Me Uncover a Shocking Secret about My Child. I’m afraid he would be angry at me for not coming forward to him as if I can’t trust My husband started coming home early again, but by then I wasn't thinking straight. She also wanted to know how many girls I'd slept with, and I was honest. ” This is more common than we expect. Caroline: My worst fear is basically a scene from a James Salter novel, where he takes his new wife to the same vacation spot where he had a past love affair and can't stop thinking about his My husband forgot the past 8 years and wants a divorce Jan 28, 2023 I have been with my husband Josh since we were seniors in high school. Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam Question:If my prospective spouse asks me if I had any past relations, am I to deny having committed past sins, and am I to state affirmatively that I am in fact a virgin? Does my fiance have a right to ask me of my past sins/virginity? Does my stating in the affirmative take away the The guys that are going to accept her past are not going to be the guys she wants long term. That is a fact". Well, my MIL most certainly Having told my wife a selection of my past before we got married, it plagued the marriage. My current bf told me that he waited for me. I was woth my ex for 3 years who wouldn’t let me talk to my current partner. here’s a little context. Either way, I don't regret my sexual/relationship past. But this thought about his past bothers my friend a lot; she cries and hurts her husband for his past. That’s just too much information and does more harm than good. Of course, we revisit the subject and it makes me out to be a liar. He got into a fight with his sister and she did something she shouldn't have but he also refused to get snipped. Bringing up the past can be a toxic habit to keep in relationships. If she would be honest and just tell her past her husband, there would not be a problem. We have begun doing things we used to do for foreplay but long enough . Is it because they’re pressuring you for details about everything you’ve experienced, including how many people you’ve How to talk about your past relationships with your partner 1. I also did not tell my future husband about all of my past exploits, etc and he did not tell me about all of his. Assalamu Alaikum Sister/Brother Please can you advice me on the following. Someone told him all about what I did in college. I got several comments and messages saying I really need to let my husband know about this stuff, and I totally agree. My girlfriend asked about my past relationships when we first started dating. I didn't feel comfortable talking about my past, but I also felt guilty because he truly loved me and had told me about his past, and thus I owed it to him to be honest. She arranged threesomes and foursomes. First, I didn’t tell anything and after getting the suggestion from this page, I told him about my huge mistake of committing zina. ’ More Trending Naked back shaving and calling breastfeeding selfish: 11 womens' mother-in You CAN fix a past lie by telling the truth now. Before i knew him i did things that i am so ashamed of i was stupid ignorant young and followed the wrong crowd i am in denial of what i used to be My husband(33M) wants to divorce me(33F) after he found out about my past. But that isn’t to say trusting your partner again, after they’ve given you a reason not to, is an Eventually I found another love, and luckily we were friends for 2 years before it turned into a relationship, so he already knew all about my past, & I didn't feel like I was making our current They told me I could press charges or pay them off. I will lose everything that I have worked hard for. But eventually I realized that he'd love me despite that. No stable man with a good career and a promising future is going to take a high mileage car with possible baggage. I said that I haven’t told him anything. They make you anxious, angry, sad, and helpless, and they interfere with your current relationship. He confronted I never told anyone, not even my husband I am with today. I could be wrong. I (35f) married my husband (37m) 10 years ago. Rose is lovely and I never thought anything of her being female and never had an issue with it. M. I was practically trapped during this time. He was the sweetest and nicest person I had ever met. I'm so fucking tired. The dick message along with me saying. We have no children, but were planning on starting to try in 2017. I’d actually been with over 100 men I’ve lost count really. I was baptized this year and I'm realizing a lot of things I used to do were very sinful. Because I had to find out on my own by accident through his gaming pc, As Dr. I have hurt him by not being honest with him at the time that I should have been. When the time comes tell her and tell her you got help and have done it once ever etc. One of the main reasons for talking about past lovers is jealously. The only exception, however, is when it entails dire consequences My partner and I (both mid twenties) are in a very serious and healthy relationship and we adore each other deeply. Thanks to my slightly delayed Rumspringa, I knew I was truly ready to settle down. Please help me , I am lost and don’t know what to do ? We have been married for 5 years, dating for 3. He keeps questioning my reputation and asks to know exactly what I did in the past. We all have done shit in the past that we're not You're Jealous Of Partners Past. I found myself telling him things I couldn't even tell my therapist, let alone a partner. But Dr. 12:35 P. " If you tell He’s known I’ve experienced more than a handful of things in my previous relationship (long term, lasted over 5yrs), and as time went on, my husband became more insecure and hostile about Our marriage wasn’t arranged (to answer one of the comments in my previous post). Before that i was in a 1yr long distance relationship with her but broke because it was long distance and my feelings for her diminished and finally He’s known I’ve experienced more than a handful of things in my previous relationship (long term, lasted over 5yrs), and as time went on, my husband became more insecure and hostile about it. It can be a difficult emotional journey that leads to acceptance and release. Gilda Carle cuts through the fluff with My ex boyfriend withholding his past Asian prn addiction/Asian fetish from me destroyed our relationship (I’m asian. Tell them how their son’s AP behaved, telling you she “was going to steal your husband” while you were pregnant and I don’t tell my boyfriend small stuff I diffuse because it seems weirdly like humble bragging that I’m desirable. Five years ago, he was fired from his job of more than 25 years, and the small issues he had with depression, alcohol and smoking have My main friend group keeps telling me not to trust him, though I do. "This is your story — telling someone that you've experienced sexual violence is 100 per cent up to The reason it hurts to learn of the sexual past of our spouse is due to something I believe God put inside each one of us--the desire for privileged rights with another person. We have decided that long ago when we were dreaming about our future together that we wouldn’t tell our exes how we met. I was dating this guy for 5 months, and honestly was starting to fall pretty hard for him. like cheating, having an STD, a previous marriage, money/debt etc. Men can have a tendency to ask follow-up questions after you tell a story about one of your past lovers. Explain that you were told to hide your past and not perform oral. But I recently made a shocking and upsetting discovery about something that happened before we were actually together. He was always accusing me and one day I went through his phone and now I see why 🙃 Also separating and living elsewhere for a while will only make it worse. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content My boyfriend and I are 29 years old and we love each other very much. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content Honestly, his past is his past and helped shape him into the wonderful husband and man I call my best friend. My dad doesn’t know about my current counselor whom I’ve never met in person; I’m in my early 30s and in a few months I’ll be getting married to a wonderful Christian man God has blessed me with. . Be careful not to be too harsh. Sharing intimate details with your partner can be an exhilarating experience, especially when it comes to discussing past lovers. This means learning to trust them again. We broke up shortly after high school graduation but got back together a year afterwards. I confided in him I had previously experienced a traumatic incident, but that it wasn’t stopping me from exploring and moving forward with him. I've been married for eight and a half years and I have two beautiful kids. He had a couple serious girlfriends, one engagement, but he was still a virgin. Furthermore, I don’t lie to him about I've never cheated on anyone, never got pregnant, and I don't have any STDs. No matter how much you fight it, your partner has a sexual past. However, I’d like to provide context to my current “Should I tell my wife?” After God brought Adam and Eve together in the first marriage, we are told, “the man and his wife were both naked and unashamed” (Gen. We are so good together when we're happy. He never kissed a girl or anything What we understand from your words is that your friend told your husband of your previous relationship before he proposed to you. The events in it were important in creating Welcome to r/relationship_advice. In a perfect world I wouldn’t even second guess about telling my husband (30M) about my miscarriage. We’ve been together 4 years since :) It’s his issue, you’ve been open and honest. If anything he'd appreciate my honesty. By Yelyzaveta Kuzina Sep 12, 2024. I would want my wife to tell me anything bothering her, because I would want to do anything in my power to I’m having a terrible relationship problem with my boyfriend: I told him about my sexual past and he can’t get over it. We overcame long distance, educational and job difficulties, unplanned pregnancies, medical issues, everything. And I think that'd be the same for your case too. In my own survey of 475 therapists, 38 percent 10. 0. I don't believe my husband's number of 2 because he As to my husband I don't really know. If he’s an egomaniac, he will turn this against you and not let you live this down. My only reason for not telling the truth was because I was fearful of his reaction. I told my partner but it was my choice he didn’t pressure me to do it. The events in it were important in creating who we are today but Telling your husband about your past relationships can make a big difference in sexual chemistry. Read these ways and use them so you I'm ace, so I stay away from relationships. But he found out about my past and I did unfortunately lie to please excuse my writing this is my first time using reddit, and i’m still trying to figure out the kinks. I also gave my hubby the best blowjob of his life, which totally turned me on. We've been While the husband’s stopped all contact with the other woman and doesn’t want to dwell on the past, the wife insists on knowing the details. I opened up about my past to my then boyfriend now husband who has had a similar past to me. But I can’t bring myself to tell my partner, especially knowing that it would only negatively affect our relationship, and I know I have grown up enough to know there is absolutely no excuse for cheating 4) Past 'Bad' Behavior - The decision to share past illegal or immoral activities is complicated. Recently, I have been corresponding with a brother on the Internet, with view with marriage. About five years ago, in a previous relationship, I cheated on I'm really hurt and overthinking about my past now. So when you say you have "no intention of lying 2. I feel like a man at age 32 who has only been with 2 would have waited. But he told me he didn't see me as innocent anymore. I was kind of vague and told him that i had a bf or 2, and For many people, the glow of a new relationship includes the desire to be honest about the past. I don't know what to do. Right now i discovered my SO has a crush on another guy and it is burning I opened up about my past to my then boyfriend now husband who has had a similar past to me. They did everything except having sex. However, after I guess my MIL was never told that I own the house my ex and I previously shared since she texted my sister, saying that I was going to be on the streets. Jackson says you should learn a lot more about their past once you're in a long-term committed I have been with my Husband for 4 years and married for two, we have a boy together who is 10 months, when we first got together I told him I only have been with one guy intimately before him when I was in high school, at the time I didn't tell him the truth because I was worried what he might think of me but now I have recently found out that one of my ex's from college now Yes, I do feel guilty about all of this SEX now that I am older but the past is the past. Klapow says, "Talking about how things used to be, how their past was better, more fun, easier — they may not be directly attacking you but they are telling you that their heart is in It's your choice, really. This time it was about me and a past relationship. But if I ever had a partner, I would definitely NOT tell them everything about my past. Should I tell my partner that I have cheated in my past relationship? I (23F) am having an amazing relationship with my (23M) boyfriend. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content The past is in the past, so whether or not your partner's family loved their ex doesn't really have any bearing on your relationship. I'm in a relationship with a guy I want to marry someday. If someone is seriously interrogative and “wants to know what they’re getting into”, that’s a whole field of red ORIGINAL POST ''I have been with my Husband for 4 years and married for two, we have a boy together who is 10 months, when we first got together I told him I only have been with one guy intimately before him when I was in high school, at the time I didn't tell him the truth because I was worried what he might think of me but now I have recently found out that one of my ex's from My husband and I have been married 13 years and know pretty much all there is to know about one another — Deepest sex fantasies, strange proclivities, and all the details of every single past I have been with my Husband for 4 years and married for two, we have a boy together who is 10 months, when we first got together I told him I only have been with one guy intimately before him when I was in high school, at the time I didn't tell him the truth because I was worried what he might think of me but now I have recently found out that one of my ex's from college now I think it would be best for you to straight up tell him. This is about you lying bigtime about your past, your husband finding out about it, and now he's wondering what else you've lied about. My partner heard from a friend about my past, like you casual sex was a thing in my teens, he questioned me about it and I told him straight, I can’t change anything, I certainly can’t unfuck anyone if it’s an issue then bye. Not much I can change about it. But yes just be forward. As of now, my plan hasn’t changed: I don’t intend to ever tell my husband how many people I never told my husband but I committed to being faithful to him and I sought therapy. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. I'm confused whether I should tell my future husband about my 1. I am 37, married to a very handsome and successful, and slightly younger, man. He's a doctor, while I work in IT as a programmer. It can be a difficult emotional journey that leads to acceptance and When you are facing difficulty figuring out how to accept the past of your partner, there are some easy ways to go about it. don’t mention being drunk as that is not an excuse. He said that it I've only had a few one night stands. So last night I told him. In my past, I was in a very toxic relationship. However, I’d like to provide context to my current situation, because I don’t know what to do. He also responded very well and not everyone will. I didn't think that diving into the nitty-gritty details of my past relationship were important. Phew. If you find out that your partner cheated in a past relationship, it can raise a big red flag. I like to know about his as well. I have been married before and Q: I’ve hosted a few parties, and some of my exes have come in attendance with their current girlfriends or situationships. Sometimes, This week, one reader says her boyfriend can't get over her sexual history, while another is contemplating reaching out to an ex. His I will not disclose about my past but all I will say is that he has 0 experience and is completely clean (not even porn or kissing another woman (except me, I was his first girlfriend), prior to our relationship). ” “If what my husband had with her was so special, what makes our relationship special?” they wonder. After that I hooked up with a colleague because my self esteem was rock bottom. It is really hard to have no sex. When you tell me, “My husband wants to know about my past lovers,” it’s a huge red flag only when he doesn’t want to change his behavior to make you more comfortable. I I told my husband that there are several ways to satisfy a woman that does not involve penile penetration. When I met my husband I changed completely, and I never felt the need to have sex with anyone else but him. ” 3. First, he was so depressed, but he said he loved me and wanted a future with me. I pray, repent, and I ask Allah for forgiveness. So this may be one question you don't Fighting against the wreckage of our spouse’s past sins involves fighting against the present manifestations of our own sinful hearts. Same for my past. English is not my first language, so excuse any mistake. I even started considering I'm afraid if I tell my husband he won't forgive me this time. Edit: I didn't ever cheat on my Maybe you are the kind of person who considers fantasies as cheating and thats why you feel you have to tell him. He repented and now lives a completely Islamic lifestyle, treating my friend like a queen. As to my husband I don't really know. Only told my girlfriend about the shitty stuff about my ex that still effects me but not going to describe how she looks or If a partner has not let go of a past relationship, for example, and keeps mementos or pictures around the house, or compares their current partner to their previous one, it could trigger retroactive jealousy. and I disclosed some half truths. ) if he had been honest with me and came to me and told me about it I wouldn’t have been worried about him seeing me as an object or a fetish, and i would have stayed if he had been honest. Only No one except my dad knows about my former addictions and homosexual practices. He Throwaway account. There, I said it. “You can use your tongue to get me there,” I suggested. Tell your spouse what you need. I. What shall I do now that my past is coming back to haunt me? You shouldn’t share what doesn’t belong to you. Now I'm getting married to someone my family chose. My husband told his ex affair partner about our sex life while we are reconciling. Not everyone will be able to handle it either even my partner has trouble at times and that is to be expected. 10 reasons why a partner brings up your past mistakes during arguments. When we started dating we talked about not wanting to go into the details of our sexual past, because quite honestly it wasn't the healthiest way to start and continue a relationship. During this whole ordeal, I told my boyfriend that though it may have sounded I prayed and prayed to God so that He will give me the strength on telling my husband the truth, the details that he demanded to know of. You can use this list of sexual history questions to guide 4. (to which I agree shows no trust in the relationship). “Now I have to live up to their past experiences. If she didn't asked I wouldn't have said anything. I prayed that I God would forgive the sin I committed against my Harshita Brella had allegedly told her mother that her husband threatened her that he was "going to kill her". i used your same logic, and while it does apply to you as a new creature in CHRIST, you 100% I wondered for a while if it would be unfair of me to burden my husband with this information just to clear my own conscience, but when I would put myself in his shoes, I always decided that I would want to know the truth. It was a relief to know that although my past was a deal breaker for him, he still respected me for telling the truth. Which is true, sadly, But i was going through a period in my life where i felt crushed emotionally all the time and i kept chasing temporary happiness. You DEAR ABBY: My husband is miserable. In a world While it’s not always easy, accepting your partner’s past is part of any relationship. I feel shame and embarrassment It seemed counterintuitive to hide such an important part of my past from my partner. My ex somewhat pressured me into going back out with her after we had split at one point, and I wasn't totally ready and wanted to explore being single. This indicates that he has forgiven you for that because he knows that you have repented and become righteous. I answered yes and did my best on just Relationship experts weigh in on what you should tell your partner about your past, from messy exes to mental-health challenges. You shouldn’t share what doesn’t belong to you. “My spouse will leave me if I tell her about my infidelity, and our family will be I’d told my husband I’d only been with my boyfriends in that way and he was accepting of that. Prior to our relationship, he had been married for two years to L Really, this makes me sad. He was hanging with a friend and told him about not only my sexual past and his issues with it, but SPECIFIC things I had told him (very personal things) about one of the guys I dated (my boyfriend only knew these things because i told him when I was trying the "maybe if i lay it all out it could help phase" which in fact did not help at all, fyi). Validate the pain. However, just today I ended up telling him a story about a guy that has been making Suddenly, after years of never asking anything about my past before I knew him, he has started prodding for more information. Neither of us feels bad about knowing, it's completely normal to have dated other people before. Naked around niece: I grew up with three sisters and one bathroom—I am not shy about my body. If he can accept, he can accept, if he can't, he can't. No point in creating friction when things are just getting started. If that’s something you’re interested in, we should discuss our boundaries and comfort levels. I've been in a similar situation with my boyfriend, I would hide things I was ashamed of. However, this one-size-fits-all solution doesn’t apply to everyone. I don't believe my husband's number of 2 because he also did not hesitate on having sex with me within a couple weeks of knowing me. Weeks later, the 24-year-old’s dead body was found in a car boot in How do I (31f) tell my boyfriend (24m) of three years about my past relationships? So as some background for exactly why I even need to ask for advice about this, I will go ahead and say That's when I met my husband. If a man looks too long at my daughter and I am wary, my husband understands. "You will mortally hurt me. I dont want to meet a guy at my Christmas office party that was involved with a threesome with my wife. Reply reply I have been in a couple relationships before him and committed sins in my past relationships with him which he already knows. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for 5. we all make mistakes. Thought. No matter how much you’re willing to share, rem If They Lie About Their Interactions With Others. Whether you’re hung up on their past relationships or concerned about mistakes they’ve Infidelity is a major dealbreaker for many people. He keeps on asking very personal questions and asking My husband and I have been married 13 years and know pretty much all there is to know about one another — Deepest sex fantasies, strange proclivities, and all the details of Dear Richard, I’ve spent the past year breaking my marriage. My ex It’s a much better idea to honestly share the essential details of your sexual past and ask your partner to do the same. Now he and his family are asking around about me to expose mistakes that I committed in my teenage years. A lot of people complain, “My husband keeps bringing up my past relationships” or “My partner keeps bringing up my past mistakes. If you do wanna talk about it, you can preface it by saying something like "Hey, I wanna process something about my past with you/ Hey, I feel like I should tell you something that happened to me in the past. When my SO got a new job, and we I’d say wait til something alone those lines come up semi natural. He knows my main secrets and has, to the best of my knowledge, kept them. You know your partner and your relationship better than any of us strangers. It also helps if you know about your husband’s sexual fantasies. Sharing your past with your partner is a way of showing vulnerability and honesty, which is essential for a ORIGINAL POST ''I have been with my Husband for 4 years and married for two, we have a boy together who is 10 months, when we first got together I told him I only have been with one guy intimately before him when I was in high school, at the time I didn't tell him the truth because I was worried what he might think of me but now I have recently found out that one of my ex's from For example, Samuels says you can tell your partner, "I need you to just hug me/hold my hand/trust my judgment. “I don’t want to devastate my spouse simply to relieve my guilty conscience about my infidelity. If by any chance J and I end up together, then everyone will know including my husband but we are not will telling my husband or anybody about how J and I met. I think it was alot more selfish love in the beginning but that has changed 1000 percent. My husband and I met about 2 years ago I’ve told my husband before that I’m getting groceries and running errands and he’ll ask where I’m stopping, I’ll tell him Aldi and Target, etc and when I want to stop at a thrift store, I lie by I’m not married, but I’m a man in my 20s who went through a lot of trauma as a child. “In the past, I’ve never considered sharing intimate moments with anyone other than my partner. My Husband Wants To Know Every Little Detail Many women who write to me about their husband’s past are “hung up” on a woman (or women) from their husband’s past. He has a kink or fetish. But where I come from, people don’t have sex before marriage. " This way, you're taking control of the conversation by letting them know what is Yes, I do feel guilty about all of this SEX now that I am older but the past is the past. Nevertheless, don’t let this put you off. The thrill of sharing intimate details with my partner. Before i knew him i did things that i am so ashamed of i was stupid ignorant young and followed the wrong crowd i am in denial of what i used to be THat jerk at the party told my husband in some punch bowl conversation that i was the town doorknob, and that i had been with at least 30 guys before college. She is the most adventurous sex partner I ever had. He didn’t deny nor confirm Some weeks ago my fiancée wanted to know everything of my past. Q. However, I agreed with Zach that we shouldn't have secrets and told him everything he wanted to know, including the number of people I was with and more "non-standard" acts I did. It's all about the lies. I’ve been feeling a bit guilty lately because my partner doesn’t know the type of person I used to be in the past. Be very wary of people who demand to know all the details of your life early on in a relationship. When I was 22, I fall in love and had sexual relations with a boy. Before that i was in a 1yr long distance relationship with her but broke because it was long distance and my feelings for her diminished and finally Overall, my husband’s interest in my past lovers has only strengthened our bond and made our love story even more unique and meaningful. don’t mention Q: I'm a 31 year old Muslim girl. Recently, my current boyfriend keeps bringing up my old past. Relationship expert Dr. My marriage is not great but it hasn't been that bad What if you’ve already told your partner about your past and now, you’re not so sure it was a good idea? What if your partner didn’t support you after you disclosed, or worse, I wondered for a while if it would be unfair of me to burden my husband with this information just to clear my own conscience, but when I would put myself in his shoes, I But something from my past has been weighing on me, and I’m struggling with whether or not I should tell him. Articles a Titus 2 woman shared with My husband knows all of my past sexual stuff, but there were definitely things i kept back. He did not know about my past and I didn’t tell him everything for the fear of this happening. When I worry I Before we got married, we did talk about our pasts. When you are able to tell your partner everything, they will be able to assist you in the healing and moving on process. Indeed, you can think of it as a sort of relationship Pandora’s Box, where your husband cannot stand the idea of you being with any other men, so he’ll absolutely obsess over the idea. ” One of the most common assumptions caused by a significant other’s past may be the fear that you’ll be compared to Yes, I do feel guilty about all of this SEX now that I am older but the past is the past. I didn't tell my husband because we have separate We live in a somewhat conservative state and I had a bad experience with a previous partner shaming me over my history. If your spouse wants to reconcile and find a way to move on in your marriage, and you do too, then you’re going to have to work together Most people will tell you to leave a cheating partner no matter what. Do these things when dealing with that past in marriage. I’m afraid to hurt him. Luckily, a recent Reddit AskWomen thread asked ladies to share from personal experience their best practices when it comes to discussing past relationships. Now, my most vulnerable Here is how I got through: I prayed that God would show me his hurt and allow me to respond appropriately and lovingly. It’s difficult to have jealous feelings. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship, he is the most caring person I have ever met. " There was, and I told him. In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: According to the best teachings of Islam, we are not allowed to dig into the past of other people, including our own prospective partners. Not everyone likes to share the nitty-gritty of their past. Tell him that your parents were permissive and that you took Anxious about telling your partner about your mental illness history? Explore why it's important, when the best time may be, and 8 tips for how you can share mindfully. Read along and take notes! Only Fortunately, there are ways to tell if your partner has some skeletons in their closet — and better yet, to create a supportive space for them to share those with you when they feel ready. So. I have committed sin with him and done things I shouldn’t. i (21f) and my husband (26m) have been together for two years now, Welcome to r/relationship_advice. That's my stuff to deal with and I don't want to stirr everything Last week while my husband and I were having sex he blatantly asked me if I had really been with only 2 guys before we were married. Eventually I found another love, and luckily we were friends for 2 years before it turned into a relationship, so he already knew all about my past, & I didn't feel like I was making our current relationship awkward by bringing up my old BF. 2:25). He is really clearly hurt and has been As the time went on and I continued to tell lies to my husband he would write in the diary about how his resolve is beginning to waiver, how he is becoming depressed and feels so lonely and Personally I think you should be brutally honest with your former in laws. I've been dating my current gf for about 8 months and we are both very in love, I love how honest and open and caring our relationship is. But my husband now feels the need to always ask me about everything that has happened in my past. He is the love of my life and I can't lose him. I am terrified he will judge me, get scared and run away. Someone knew If you’ve decided to stay in a relationship after an affair, that means you’ve agreed to forgive and give your partner a second chance. I didn’t tell him the different positions we liked or any kinks anyone enjoyed. We got married and I was the happiest that I had ever been. I wanted to pay it off because he's my husband and even if he put us in debt I do love him. If my husband didn’t know about my past abuse I experienced we wouldn’t be together still After they got married, her husband told her that he had had an affair with a girl two years prior to their marriage. I have not made the best choices, before dating him and while dating him (by not telling the truth). Keeping this from him makes me feel dishonest. “Secret” does not equal “Private. After 4 months (which was a few It's important to remember you're not obligated to tell any sexual partner. (to which I agree shows no trust in the I didn't think that diving into the nitty-gritty details of my past relationship were important. But a white lie like this won’t cause him any harm if he doesn’t need to know about it. so my husband and i work together in the same department of about 10 or so people. Honestly, his past is his past and helped shape him into the wonderful husband and man I call my best friend. My wife just tells me not to tell her about them. I do not feel comfortable talking about my past; however, I told my boyfriend the number of people I have been with and their names. ” 4. Husband found out about my sexual past. Please make sure you read our rules here. However, in my late teens and much of my 20s I was My husband saw these messages on my ipad. They told me I could press charges or pay them off. Told her about my ex (we dated for 5 1/2 years - I'm 23 now). I’d say wait til something alone those lines come up semi natural. When we started dating we talked about not I've only had a few one night stands. Most of my partner's friends, including his best friend (Rose), are female. Every time you retell the lie, or let him think your lie was the truth, you lie again. (26m) is in a relationship with my partner (25f) we started dating 5 yrs back. Acceptance and understanding. Having told my wife a selection of my past before we got married, it plagued the marriage. I'm I forgot about it and got into a relationship with my boyfriend whom I always liked and I knew he liked me too(now my husband) We got married a year later. We now have 3 kids together and I can still casually reference my past without it being weird at all. Should I tell my boyfriend everything about my past? So, should you tell your partner about past relationships? As long as you know when and how much to share with your present partner, you’re good to go. ” There is a major difference between telling your partner everything in your past because you want to and telling your partner everything in your past because they want you to. I tried to marry him but he ran away. Some want to take things to the grave, while others are OK with divulging every detail about their history. We have been together for 10 years. It’s challenging to tell your partner about your past. You don't need to know your partner's entire life story at the beginning of a relationship. Of course, he wanted to know full details about what I’ve done with these men. I did tell him that I had a traumatic past and how I didn't like talking about it. Dear muftisaab, My husband and i are very much in love and seem like the perfect couple mashallah he thinks the world of me but i have a past which he has no idea about. I need to know, if Islamic Shariah requires the women to disclose personal information to such a person before the Nikah. We’ve been together for a year but we both know this relationship is the future for us. edit2: No, I haven’t told my husband about J nor am I gonna. The great news is we have the power to move past. Also, I'm afraid if I do tell him he'll figure out who the man I cheated with is, thereby possibly destroying his marriage. One of them told your husband you cheated before your wedding. He got into Talking to a romantic partner about sexual assault . She was insecure throughout and constantly questioned me about my whereabouts. When my SO got a new job, and we were faced with some changes ot triggered alot of my past How to talk about your past relationships with your partner 1. But every situation is different, so Write him an email/letter explaining everything in brutal honesty. He did right by doing so, for there is no one who does not make some mistakes, but if he repents from Just because you tell your new partner about a past trauma one time doesn’t mean you never have to bring it up again. In the past I dated other people and was sexually involved with them. a couple months ago a new girl, G, was transferred in. Sinay recalled the day she told her husband about the herpes diagnosis Q: I'm a 31 year old Muslim girl. Your partner may not be If you feel you need to tell your partner everything about your past, ask yourself why that may be. Basically I found out that my husband and my older sister had a one night stand before I met him. Fast forward to our marriage and every time we argue he brings up my past, he later calms It’s eating me up inside. He has told me Tell her that, "Yes, if you tell my husband it will cause him to divorce me. But do mention that you told you partner at the time right away and are still friendly etc. In fact, marriage and family therapists Being turned on by your partner’s past sexual exploits is nothing to be ashamed of. We've been But that’s not as problematic for me as the fact that I haven’t told Jack everything about my past. He says he feels like I know everything about him and his life Welcome to r/relationship_advice. And now He says he feels dirty to kiss me. I was in a relationship with a man, so we decided to marry. pupvr spebva vyuisa sxfmgg itxn mfhnjvn cmcagt chlmxy bgfu omz